Capturing our thoughts.
When we first fall in love - we’re invincible and forgive freely. Falling out of love - we can grow cynical and harsh. When we are financially stable or excelling - we might be more generous or even prideful. When we feel stuck with our life or unhappy in our jobs - we might look to our spouse and blame them for our shortcomings, or be overly critical of ourselves.
Our mind is the devil’s playground. When we’re not able to capture our thoughts, hold them lightly, and assess them, we run the risk of running away with a fabricated story that has no anchor in reality. Before you know it, our reality mirrors our mind, rather than the other way around.
Oftentimes because of my abandonment wounds, I would immediately feel anxious when my husband came home later than usual. I had unhelpful thoughts, like, ‘what if something bad has happened on his drive?’ I’d then call him and if he didn’t answer the phone, my heart palpitations would start and my thought process because more sinister. I was no longer concerned about his safety, but worried about mine! This person, my safe place, was now God knows where, with God knows who, doing God knows what. All thoughts that had zero truth - all stemming from my fear of being left alone like I was as a child. If this were me 10 years ago, I would have behaved irrationally and would not have the maturity or ability to capture my thoughts. To tell myself, ‘it’s all good - he’s probably in a deep and meaningful with the boys’, and carry on with my night.
So many times I’ve seen relationships break down because self-awareness wasn’t present in one or both people. They weren’t aware of how their unhealed wounds showed up, and unable to capture their thoughts.
If you have intrusive thoughts or find yourself spiralling, try to identify what your trigger was. Ask yourself, is this true? What information do I have that confirms it? Am I feeling tired, frustrated with something else? What am I truly worried about? This self-reflection has saved me from countless arguments professionally as well as on the home front.
🖊️ Capturing your thoughts.
